Dad Fail #1 — Bouncy House Blues
On Sunday, we were supposed to go to a kid’s birthday party as a family (only the 3rd of the weekend). It was going to be a nice moment where Sarah and I could casually walk around the caverns of a bouncy house place while our 4 monsters released amounts of energy that could only otherwise come from splitting atoms. Our only responsibility being keeping an eye on the door while the kids are completely distracted by giant inflated germ terminals. It was supposed to be easy.
Then as crunch time approached we realized that Sarah wasn’t going to be finished cleaning the apartment in time for the guests that were arriving that afternoon. She was going to have to miss the party. After the kids stopped crying about this travesty and I accepted the reality that I was on the hook to avoid 4 kids worth of broken bones and abductions, we headed out to Leaping Lizards.
The kids were loaded up and buckled and we headed out. By the way, the hardest part about going somewhere with 4 kids has nothing to do with wherever you’re going. It’s the loading in and out of the car. We drive a Kia Sorento so there’s only 1 extra seat that isn’t used when the 3rd row is open. I don’t know who on this earth would actually choose to sit next to Cormac but somehow there’s a fight every time for that seat between Greta and Marnie. Whoever ends up there always regrets it but there’s always a fight. Anyway, there was not a fight this time so I dodged that bullet.
Off we go down North Avenue, past Ponce City Market, right on Boulevard which turns into Monroe, past our future high school Grady (which happened to be hosting a Lacrosse game between Michigan and Yale), left on Amsterdam then we pull into the parking lot. At this point some of you familiar with the Atlanta kids party scene will realize exactly what Marnie realized. “Dad, this isn’t Leaping Lizards” she says. Ah, Marnie was very correct. We were sitting in the parking lot of Catch Air, another confined bouncy house establishment.
Now I’m feeling self doubt and my first instinct kicks in. My self-dialog sounded something like this…
“Sarah Help!”
“I better call her”
“Wait, she has our cell phone” (for more details read this)
“Can I borrow a strangers phone?”
“You can figure this out. Just start driving…”
The kids at this point are pissed. We were already late and they felt no confidence that I would get them to Leaping Lizards before the party was over. Their pent up energy could cause a nuclear reaction. I started to panic. They started to panic.
Marnie offers up a reasonable suggestion. Let’s just head home and ask mom where to go. I agreed with her at first. I started to head towards the house then felt a moment of clarity. I had been to this place before. It’s in the North Dekalb Mall. I divert from our homeward path and head towards the best mall in america.
Just as we’re pulling into the mall parking lot I start to really doubt myself again. There are multiple Leaping Lizard locations and I’m really feeling like I’m at the wrong one. I park and leave the kids in the car to run in and check to make sure I’m in right place. Don’t worry. I had an eye on the car the whole time. Judge if you want.
Success! It’s the right place and we’re only 45 minutes late. They hadn’t even started the pizza and cake yet. Smooth sailing for the next 2 hours until our next scheduled event, a parking lot royal rumble for the worst seat in the car.
