Ripped

This post is either about the wild escapades that I had on a weekend bender that resulted from me losing it with the kids and abandoning Sarah or…

It’s about working out. Yeah, I’m a little disappointed that it’s not the bender too.

I had two personal goals after quitting my job. One was to be a better member of the family and the second was to look like this guy…

Ah yes, after a few weeks of working out I was going to be ripped. Sarah was going to be all over my super sexy new muscles. Irresistible.

I started off strong. The first day with the kids back in school we hit the YMCA. I was hitting the chest press machine, getting some ab work in, doing some jogging on the human conveyor belt, pumping the 15 lb. dumbbells, etc. We took a break on Tuesday then were back on Wednesday for some lower body stuff. This was the first time I had worked out seriously since high school. I had a good 20 year break of rest and relaxation in there.

After the first week, I realized that I was probably only going to get to go 2 or 3 times per week. No problem. I can work with the low frequency and still get in shape.

It’s been a few weeks since I started and I’m realizing that there is another problem. It seems that my body is falling apart little bits at a time.

My lower back is sore constantly. My arms feel like jello after even light workouts. I’m decently winded before I get to the mile mark…on the bicycle. And the worst ailment is this sharp pain that I feel down in my heel. It sneaks up on me when I put pressure on the ball of my foot and my leg is straightened. It always seems to happen when I’m trying to pick up a kid so now they think I get angry with them every time I pick them up.

So my dreams of having a Justin Theroux body are a little dashed right now. Also, Sarah’s response to me telling her that I was going to get ripped was pretty priceless — “some people’s bodies just aren’t meant to get really muscular and I think you have one of those”.

Ah, harsh reality.