Training Days
14 days and counting until the Summer of Gleason Family Camping Roadtrip. There’s an air of excitement and nervous energy running through our household. No one knows what to expect…other than complaining, fighting, crying, hugs, high fives, screaming, scraped knees, bug bites, uncomfortable sleeping, “are we there yet”s, pb&j sandwiches, car art and lots and lots of bonding…but those are the usual things.
We have been doing some warm up runs…yurting at fort yargo…tent camping at watson mill state park. We feel pretty confident and are ready to rock and roll. We’ve even discussed winging it and leaving a little bit early.
You know who’s not feeling so confident? Our entire immediate family. As the trip approaches we’re starting to feel their anxieties mounting.
It started when I got wind of a side conversation between my sister and my dad. While we were yurting up at fort yargo my sister came to visit us. I guess she gave my folks a run down on what she observed. Here’s a little stage setting to try to give you an idea of what she walked into…
We spent 4 nights at the yurts. Nights 1–3 were with a bunch of our friends. Everyone brought a ton of supplies and each family took a different meal so we didn’t have to bring much in terms of actual camping and cooking supplies. On day 4 everyone left and we spent 1 more night there since we had all of our places rented out.
When my sister rolled up it must have been quite a sight. 2 adults and 4 kids, half dressed with dirty clothes hanging all around the campsite. Whenever we are anywhere it’s always quite clowncarrish. Kids are popping out all over the place. We didn’t really have any “camping” supplies. Our cooler (which was really just a child’s lunchbox) was full of lukewarm water, carrots, homemade hummus (DIY baby), yogurt, milk and orange juice.
Anyways, it was midday and the kids were polishing off giant vats of yogurt which were leftover from breakfast that morning. They were also digging through cereal boxes of all sorts. My sister must have noticed the food situation because she asked the kids off to the side what we were having for dinner. They replied with “we’re only eating healthy stuff now”.
Sarah and I were focused on getting the fire set up to start cooking our 2-week old brussels sprouts with an onion and pepper. It was pretty fortunate that my sister showed up because we didn’t have anything on hand to light a fire with (seems like a slight miss there for a camping situation) so we borrowed her lighter.
Given this circumstance…the lighter…old brussels sprouts…4 very dirty kids…I can understand how this would translate over to my parents. I can imagine them sitting there thinking about us on the road for 2 weeks not prepared enough to keep ourselves warm at night.
So my conversation with my dad was pretty great. Not only was he concerned about our prep work and general ability to keep our kids fed/warm while camping, but he also seemed pretty obsessed with another personal camping phobia. Campsites crawl with perverts apparently. Every solid piece of advice and/or questioning was followed with a quick “…and watch out for those kids and all the perverts…”.
Meanwhile, during this phone conversation I’m getting texts from my mom with articles about the blackflies that come out in spring in the upper Midwest, Canada and New England. Warning shots. I can hear her thinking “Just skip the road trip. Come to us early so we can keep those kids safe and uneaten by the blackflies”. I’m surprised people even live up there with these flies. The size of birds and their bites are like that of a snapping turtle.
So my side of the family is pretty busted up about this trip. What with the black flies, perverts and our general ineptitude. All understandable. But my in-laws always have our backs, right? They were coming over in a few days to watch the kids while Sarah and I turned over an apartment, so I figured I’d get a temperature check on them soon.
A few days later my in-laws showed up with an arsenal…mace, multiple knives, stun guns, whistles, utensils designed for breaking car windows…and there was more if I needed it. They’ve provided a GPS tracking device and asked us to share our location throughout the trip to make sure we’re properly monitored.
I’m now prepared for multiple hand-to-hand combat scenarios with man or beast which should be handy given the pervert and blackfly situations.
My parents and my in-laws know me pretty well. On the preparedness scale, I’d say I lean heavily towards the “ill” end so I definitely appreciate their thoughts and help getting us ready for this trip. Being minimally prepared is also part of the Gleasoning philosophy. Gleasoning is learning as we go and making some adjustments along the way. We won’t have everything we want but we should have everything we need, especially now that I’m armed appropriately and have my sister’s lighter.
Just like when Greta tried a corndog for the first time and emphatically stated for the whole restaurant “HEY, THERE’S A HOT DOG IN HERE!?!”, sometimes you just have to take a bite without knowing what’s inside to really experience the great things in life.
